For some reason I feel like writing in English... Probably because I'm inspired by Rod Stewart. All the interviews I've seen and songs I've been listening to tonight... Gotta love that guy!

Oh yes, yet another night when I feel like pouring my heart out as my blood is infected with devil alcohol...

Fuck sake, mate. I am just so tired. I have come to a state of mind where all I can think about is not caring.

(8)
Oh no, not my baby; oh no, not my sweet baby
You're not like those other girls
Who play with hearts like they were toys
(8)

I don't wanna care about others, and more important, I don't feel like caring about myself. But I do, really. I wanna be happy. I don't wanna give up this fight... Cause to me, life feels like a fight. It is nothing but a struggle.

(8)
If you don't need my love
I'm gonna find someone who does
And I'm not hanging around
This old heart is far to proud
(8)

Today I snapped. Had dinner with my father and grandparents. My father kept complaining about everything. When he started talking about every silly thing that needed to be done before the summer ends and how he wouldn't be able to finish it, I was no longer able to keep my cool... Told him to shut the fuck up, think positive or go blow his head off. If things like that keep him from enjoying life, then he has no chance in life. And I meant it... That is what frightens me the most.

(8)
Here they have a lot of fun
Puttin' trouble on the run
Man, you find the old and young
Twistin' the night away
(8)

If every single thing gets you out of your positive mojo, then you don't stand a chance in this world. Man, I'm 20 and I feel like I know more about life than what a 50 year old do...
How it sucks that a hard kick in the head is what it takes for someone to realize that life is to be lived, not to be thrown away worrying about unimportant, material things...

(8)
Sweet little rock 'n' roller, sweet little rock 'n' roller
Her daddy doesn't have to scold her
Her partner can't hardly hold her
Because she never gets any older
Sweet little rock 'n' roller
(8)

Life! For fuck sake! So tender and filled with ups and downs!
The day that you are not able, or more important, not willing to get yourself back up on your feet, you are doomed. It's all in your mind.

(8)
Mine is always, mine is grand
Don't you know that the woman that love me she understands
And can't you see that it's mine for me
(8)

I do not like to think that I have had my share. Hell no, I might have had the worst, at least the worst that I could ever imagine, but not my share.
I have not blown my head off yet and I wake up mostly everyday think that I will have one hell of a blast! My life is not over cause I still have the will to stand up and make the best of life.

With that said, I am ready to make the sacrifices. I am willing to give up certain things to make me feel better. I just have to. How could I possible be able to do good to others when I feel like crap myself?

Once again I will quote Bjørnstjerne Bjørnson in my blogg...

"I valg mellom falske venner og åpne fiender har jeg alltid foretrukket det siste." - Bjørnstjerne Bjørnson

I'm sorry.


Ok, dette var altså ukas trening i engelsk.
Av en eller annen idiotisk grunn føles det lettere å si ting på en annet språk enn sitt eget morsmål. Selv om det er vanskelig for meg å si det på norsk, så betyr det ikke at jeg ikke mener det når det kommer ut på engelsk... Det er som sagt bare lette.

Faen, en dag! Da skal jeg være i stand til å gå i meg sjøl, si til meg sjøl, at nå er det over. Eller, nå er starten her... En dag.